Do we EVER have alot of ground to cover today!
I am back from Spring Break and it feels great! (Mostly because I have my car! Holla!)
So, after the extreme stress, duress, and near death of midterm season I left on a jet plane for sunny Florida. To spice things up, my Dad booked my flight out of Newburgh instead of the city, and it was kind of nice. I think I'd do it again, but preferably without a layover. Of course the adventure lies in the layover in this story so for the sake of my readership, I might encourage the detour. My layover was in Detroit which, might I add, is a beautiful airport. There were hotels, and shopping, and a sushi bar which was kind of neat, but ultimately I don't trust airport sushi. So, I get on my plane and my neighbors are a mildly disgusting middle aged man, and a mildly ethnic looking girl with an urban streak. Staring off simply, the man was generally quiet, but being a disgusting fat ass, he decided to purchase a snack pack. Now, this act was innocuous enough, however the airline saw it fit to include Tuna Fish with the pack. Yes, stinky squishy, yucky, Tuna Fish on an enclosed, cramped, stifled airplane, and Yes. It smelled just as good as it sounds. His smacking, gummy, chews only served to heighten the bliss of the sensory experience. Now, the girl was a full blooded Native American Indian. Who had flitted in and out of rehab and had managed to accumulate a grand total of 5 credits during the course of four years of high school. As impressive as that sounds, her accomplishments are embellished by her talent as a tattoo artist. Yes, she had hand tattooed herself seven times over. Our further chatting revealed that she had been in 15 fights, mostly with boys, all with individuals larger than she, and she had only lost one. Of course this crippling defeat resulted in a broken back for her and a shattered eye socket for her assailant. My girl had game! Suffice it to say I felt very safe with my own personal socket shattering barbarian at my side. I also learned that she was particularly thrilled over this particular trip to Florida because it will be the first time that her brother will be out of jail while she is visiting. My heart was truly warmed. We concluded our conversation with me showing her some highlights from RuPaul's Drag race, and assuring her that my cell phone being on would not cause the plane to come hurtling to the ground in blazing glory. Feeling satiated with Native American Culture, and fearing a Tomahawk to the skull, I turned to my computer planning to watch an episode of Rupaul's Drag race. This was interrupted by my neighbor's realization that I had an episode of America's Next Top Model on my computer, and decided that we should watch it together. She hands me her headphones, expecting my computer to have grown an extra audio port, and I had to explain to her that there was only room for one set of headphones. To this she responds, "Oh, That's fine. We'll share." Of course, how silly of me. We would share. Although I left the plane rich in experience, I was poor in headphones.
So Spring break went on and I enjoyed seeing my dear friend Lisa despite the interference of her having brought 4 friends from college home, severely limiting alone time opportunities. I also saw Britney's Circus with my mom, which was fun and nice, but the concert was mediocre, and going with my Mom was not an ideal concert decision, but was enjoyable none the less. I visited Sarah in Miami and don't remember much of the nights, and enjoyed beaching and shopping during they days. Oh, and being a cocky idiot mother fucker, I insisted on going out for a fancy dinner and ended up spending $184. Oh yeah, Fuck my Life. Here's the long and short of it. Sarah looked up fine dining in Miami and bypassed all of the (delicious) places she's already tried. She ends up at a place called Barton G, which her friend described as being "Very fancy" as she noted that "the dessert came out on fire!". This should have been a red flag. This didn't sound like true fine dining, but I was optimistic, and Sarah seemed excited. The place looked very nice, and had a romantic secluded vibe so initially, all systems were go. We noticed that drinks were coming out illuminated, smoking, in goblets shaped like elephants, and shot glasses shaped like giraffes, and the whimsy of it all really captured us. We were buying into some hardcore bullshit. My Foi Gras Appetizer was presented with a three foot tall eiffel tower model resting on the place. Of course, this little number cost $26 for one chunk of Foi Gras. For some perspective, in NYC at a superior restaurant I got 5 chunks or so for the same price. This was followed by the Lobster. Oh yes, I did it big! Did I mention that it was listed as costing MARKET PRICE, oh, and me, the fucking schmuck-O idiot didn't feel the need to ask exactly how much "market price" would cost. Turns out $125. Luckily we're not in an economic crisis or anything, right? When I got the bill, my eyes bulged, my stomach dropped, and my heart broke. And of course while I was reeling in shock of my reckless extravagance Sarah was laughing to the point of self urination while calling her parents to share my idiocy with them. If that isn't a true friend, I don't know what is.
On the way out of Miami I had to stop by West Palm to pick up Max and bring him back to my neck of the woods where he'd be staying with Eleanor and her grandparents. This detour would take me on a different route home than I usually take back from Miami and as a result we got lost. In the ghetto. The Ge-heh-Toe! It was very gritty and real, if you know what I'm saying. Basically we took an exit after we'd gotten onto the wrong highway in an attempt to turn around. This resulted in our entry to the first circle of something dante could only dream of. At a stop light I rolled down my window and asked directions, and two helpful ladies pointed us in the right direction closing with the advice "You best LOCK YO' DOORS White Boy!" I was back on the highway before the words had a chance to sink in. After that initial rattling the rest of the trip was uneventful.
At home I spent some quality time with Max and Eleanor, and then My Mom and I started the 20 hours journey to NY. Well, she did. I slept. and slept. and then got sick. My Aunt took first class care of me and it was great to see some fam, but even greater to finally get back to school. I love college. Mostly the people, and the alcohol, but a little bit of the academics as well Especially Martha Kaplan. I don't love homework though. Just saying.
So here I am back in the stress pot. I can contemplate all sorts of should-do's and would-do's and will-do's knowing they're really more of never-do's. And that's about it. This class has been good for a recap and I think I got a few fun tales out of my system. Let's hope I did well on my cultural anthropology midterm! Muah Love you!!!!
