My Life is a Black Joke

DRAMA

The Saga Continues

Ok! I'm back! Well, I didn't really hiatus, but I'm a day late and I definitely feel like I've taken a little vacation. Basically, the idea that I would blog around campus was nice, but it mostly turned blogging into a chore, and I think I'll produce alot more content if I'm allowed to work from home (i.e. my bed). That said, we have a few things to cover before we get to the real meat of this entry.

Firstly,  Thank you Thank you Thank you! Because of you noble souls, I have officially made $77 from this blog! That is legit. That is a considerable sum of money! I am thrilled, shocked, and excited by this and can't wait until I hit $100 so that I can cash out and use the money to repay you! 

Secondly, As of this exact moment, I plan to write three posts tonight. I was considering just doing one loooong post, but since everything I want to discuss is so unrelated in terms of chronology and subject matter, and since I am no longer limited by the confines of a class period I figure why not try something new and try to make the information a bit more organized. 

Ok, now that all the business is out of the way, on to the main event.

After my blog was discovered I decided that tales of the horror formerly known as Dog-Bitch would end and we would both move on with our lives. Unfortunately our posthumous hero is not so easily forgotten, and has proven herself blogworthy yet again. Actually, I should be more fair and specific. This time, it is her Boyfriend (I assume) who deserves the spotlight. 

This weekend at the TH's I was soberly (no lie!) making my way from party to party attempting to socialize but mostly just being tired and grumpy. As Maddy and I strolled through the steamy vapors of the night, I noticed a gawky figure shambling in our direction. It was a lone male figure, or so I thought, and he proceeded to spastically kick an empty beer can into a tree which ricocheted and clattered in a cacophonous frenzy. Being sober, and grumpy, I noted "That was different" This was an audible observation which I wasn't so worried about considering the general drunkenness of the evening and the innocuous nature of my comment. 

Well, it turns out I should have been worried, because this really tripped Mr. Different's fuse. He gallumped his way over to me and delicately placed his hands upon my shoulders, adopting as menacing and intimidating a figure as he could muster. I was hardly worried, but was distinctly uncomfortable. Where did this guy get off thinking he could touch me and get in my grill. Of course, at this point I was patient and forgiving considering his drunkenness, my own saintliness, and a general feeling of good will in the air.  Of course, this all evaporated the moment I saw the creature lurking beside him. It was probably selective focus that I hadn't noticed earlier, but the lanky mess with his hands resting oh-so-gently upon my form was accompanied by none other than the artist formerly known as DB herself. A shudder ran down my spine as I realized exactly what was occurring. This was no chance meeting, nor was this truly instigated by my own innocent commentary. This was something larger. Something deeper. Something with History. 

I am embarrassed to say that my own shock and unguardedness in this situation makes for a relative fizzle of a conclusion. Had I known what I was in store for I would have been ready with something, but instead I allowed myself to be taken by surprise and if not defeated, at least neutralized. Essentially the rest of the episode played out like this...

Mr. Different repeatedly asked me what I had said to him. I replied honestly. He finishes (all over my face ...ew...i disgust myself) by reminding me that everyone is different, and that it is our differences that make the world go 'round or some ol' bullshit in that general category. Basically the message was don't fuck with my Girlfriend. He actually behaved quite honorably. He was soft spoken enough and the confrontation didn't develop into anything more severe (which is lucky for him because I could totally take him!). If they have one virtue, that couple is pretty level headed in the face of adversity. 

Mostly, the experience left me slightly shaken but mostly disappointed. I wished I could defend or explain the motives of and actions taken in my blog. Again, there's no denying that I was an asshole, but everything I wrote was deserved, and definitely accurate. 

I can actually prove this theory by referencing a conversation I had in the retreat today. And it went a little something like this...

Me: Hey! You're in my Anthropology Class!

Peer: Yeah!

Me: Ugh I  miss blogging in class, but that one girl told on me!

Peer: Who?

Me: Guess?

He guesses correctly.

*Note that this Peer was not aware of and is not a reader of blogthro. Clearly, DB has it coming. 

Having had a few days to think on the incident I do feel like it was an ambush, but I still feel like I come out on top and if I haven't had the last laugh, I've definitely had the most laughs. Sure things could have played out differently if I had been prepared to deal with the situation, but I'd rather be an livin' my life than constantly peering over my shoulder.  

Alright, thanks for sticking with me through story number 1! Number 2 is on its way!

Back in Action!

Hey! Ok, After a short hiatus of sorts, I am back! and I'm ready to Blog!

So, I got the hottest new kicks this past weekend! No joke, these shoes are crazy! Now, I know I am already known on campus as something of a footwear connoisseur, but these shoes take it to a new level. I know, you're thinking how can it get any fresher than light-up shoes? Trust me. It can. Or at least it's more fresh in my mind. My Light-up's are undeniably sick, however they're kind of old news and it's time for something new. Anyways, my new shoes are surprisingly from Puma, which is actually very surprising because Pumas run narrow and I have wide feet (wink wink). They are multicolored and the laces and various borders are outlined in a sort of sketched in black. Basically, the effect is that it looks like I have cartoon feet. It's super cool and a half. Now for the silly part. When I bought these shoes I was quietly browsing the limited selection of footwear in the Puma and was pleasantly surprised with my unique and exciting find. I promptly told a sales man to fetch me a size 11 and was prepared for all of the critical thought that would go into making such a momentous purchase (I've been noticing lately that I find hyperbole hysterical). When he returned he had a smug little grin on his face and proceeded to inform me that the shoes I had chosen were part of a very exciting Andy Warhol inspired collection. He was just so damn proud of himself. It was nigh on infuriating. He was clearly proud that he had ascertained, probably from some subtle cues I was emitting, that I wasn't giving off typical jock vibes and assumed that I was either gay (check), a hipster (not so check) artsy (half check?) or any combination of the three. Regardless he was capitalizing on whatever indie fervor possessed Puma to design such (awesome) shoes to begin with. I understand that he was just doing his job and trying to be an effective salesman, but I just couldn't help being put off. Why should I give a fuck if a pair of fucking shoes are inspired by Andy Warhol or not? Can't I just like the shoes? Maybe I can appreciate the reference, but it would never be the governing trait that determines a purchase. Let the shoes speak for themselves. Andy is dead, rendering him relatively ineffective as a salesperson. It's also possible that this whole ordeal is very revealing of my own character. Clearly I didn't like being pigeon holed as someone who would be easily swayed into a purchase by the knowledge that my shoes were inspired by a gay/hipster icon. I think that the sales pitch hit a chord that I don't often like to acknowledge. I am get very touchy when people assume that my homosexuality defines me. I want to be known and remembered (and lord knows I'm already working up to that),  but not because I am gay. Aren't there so many other dynamic ways to describe me? Continuing in this whole reflective jumbled up mess, I think i also could be projecting this paranoia onto the sales pitch. What if I only think that the salesman assumed I was gay and then therefore thought his pitch would be effective? It's entirely possible that he says that to everyone offhandedly because he is reacquired to as part of the promotion for the product. Why then, did I immediately assume it was a judgement of my character that led him to act as he did. hmmm... Interesting stuff. 

If you can't tell I'm kind of moody today, and just a touch cerebral. It's just been one of those weeks. Basically, something keeps going kind of almost wrong, and setting everything out of balance, and as soon as I get it all together again, something else falls out of place. For example I was all stressed about the blog being discovered, and just as I patch that all up my summer prospects crash and burn! Oh well! Such is life, and Ima keep on truckin'. ...wtf who am I?

The above story slash rant slash weirdness was meant to be a segway into details about my weekend in Needham Mass. But I am running out of time before I have to head to class so I can't really do those adventures justice, and I'm not entirely sure that they are particularly blog worthy (which means I had a pleasant visit).  

Before I go, I want to extend a giant thankyou to everyone for clickign my ads!!! because I am officially up to $30 dollars in blog revenue. Now, I can't collect until I hit $100, so keep up the good work, and I'll keep you informed about the imminent Blogthro-Party

This post fells kinda bleh, but so do I, and I'm sure you do too! The end of the year is a hectic MESS!  

A New Beginning

Well my little peach blossoms,  It seems some decisions are being made for me. Blogthropology as it was is no longer, but don't despair for a bright and exciting future lies ahead. No longer tethered to the confines of the classroom, Blogthropology will be undergoing a metamorphosis. 

First of all, the small concern over the issue of titling posts has vanished as the stark and uniform format no longer fits my vision for what Blogthropology must become.  Secondly, since the nature of this blog no longer requires me to be in a particular location...Blogthropology is going Campus wide! What does this mean for you? Well, this means that I will be blogging anywhere and everywhere! I could be in the Deec (As I am today) The Library, Cushing Parlor, or even your dorm room. It's exciting b/c you never know where I'll be or what outside forces could be influencing my blogging. Furthermore, removing myself from the classroom environment allows me to blog without fear! No longer will anyone be able to challenge the livelihood of this blog! 

Furthermore, I hope very desperately that you have been a devoted reader, because anything that occurred during the confines of my 1:30-2:45 Anthropology class is going to disappear forever. I feel that it is in my best interest to disassociate this blog from the class and to give myself and the blog the freedom and agency we have grown into needing. Now, don't fret because other than location and the element of blogging in public, the format, concept, and character of Blogthropology will remain unchanged. Be prepared for a continually expanding collection of zany stories, bitching rants, and all the other tokens of jubilance you have come to expect from Blogthropology. 

Finally, As of now, Updates will continue to be done on Tusdays and Thrusdays with posts being up by 4:30 PM. 

Think of this as an exciting and necessary foray into the future. My love and respect For Martha Kaplan coupled with my desire to not fail or get into too much trouble allow me to take this leap without looking back. I don't know about you, but I'm pretty excited. Watch out Vassar College, cuz I'm coming at you, with even less mercy this time. 

That's it for logistics and announcements, but keep alert for Today's very real, very new, and very exciting main post. 

Here's to the future!

The jig is up!

Well, It's official. We've finally been discovered. This blog has become bigger than ANTH 140, and will no longer be written during class. Thanks for following, and as soon as I think of an update schedule, I'll tell you when you need to check for updates. Although I'm fretting over the discovery, there's actually nothing wrong in or about this blog, and therefore I only feel bad that Martha will be upset about it. Poop.

The Confrontation

In light of recent events I have been forced, for my own personal well being, to remove this post. I attempted to edit it, but that destroyed the post's soul and it's just not my style to dilute my work. It's all or nothing with me Baby! Anyway, my faithful readers will know how glorious this once was, but never fear for Blogthropology can NEVER be killed and will persist, persevere, and THRIVE. This is merely a stumble in the scheme of something much much greater. Besides, It will all be published in Oprah's book club soon enough. 

April 16th

Awww. He looks so peaceful

JOSIE IS BAAAAAACK!!!!!!!

having a dog in class is my own personal heaven! 

That said, I do have a bit of business to cover, but this post might have to be sparse, because I have to make up for my poor performance on Tuesday by trying to be a good student today. 

Ok, so you know those ads on the right side of this blog under the archives? Well, every time you click one of those,  I make some money. So far I have made $18 which is a fun concrete way to measure the success of this blog. Now, I was pondering what I could do with this ponderous sum of cash and figured that it could be spent on nothing more worthwhile than a handle of crystal palace. This thought was not only titillating, but it was also only the beginning of an entire strand of thoughts designed for your alcoholic pleasure. If I have $18 now how many dollars will I have in the future? Well, that sum is entirely in your hands as I don't generate any revenue from clicking my own ads. Since my profit is so closely tied to your loyalty I decided that I will cash in on my blog profits and put them all towards an end of the year party!!! Isn't that thrilling! I know I'd be thrilled, and all you have to do is click my ads until your fingers fall off. Tell your friends, tell your family,  and stay bright and hopeful through the arduous end of a wonderful semester, knowing that you have a Blogthro-Party waiting at the finish line. 

That said, I will return to content you have grown to know and love. 

I actually don't have much on my mind. The weather is beautiful and I am generally content and at peace which does not always make for the most riveting blogging. It's ok though, because this is me we're talking about, I'm guaranteed to turn something out. Despite the guarantee I'm still coming up dry. I just took a quick break for inspiration and ended up googling conjugal visits. such is my life. 

Conjugal visits make Carrie giggle. 

Tomorrow is Sakura Matsuri, the Japanese Cherry Blossom festival. I am putting on a puppet show with Carson about a character from our text book traveling into outer space and being subsequently eaten by deceptively friendly aliens. It is going to be ToF (Tons of fun. Learn it and apply it to daily conversation!) Today we are going to put together the puppet theatre and making the puppets. I love doing crafts. I love when I put down a a project and can admire my handy work. I also love working with glitter and coming out of the experience with a fresh coat of sparkles adorning my figure. 

This weekend, I am going to Needham Massachusetts! with Maddy!!! I am sooo excited. I get to meet her dog Sophie, and her family, and visit my friend Emily. Also, there's a big marathon is Boston which is somewhat equivalent to our founders day, and I am definitely pumped to get to be a part of that. 

I think it's time to end this post. Sorry it was mostly business, albeit exciting business. I've been too focused on stressing about studying for linear algebra and then watching old Naruto episodes instead, to have anything all that interesting or exciting to share. I promise that this all changes on Tuesday as this weekend should provide more than enough material for some hilarious and insightful blogging. So maintain your faith and focus my stalwart readers and Comment!!! because comments make me feel really good about myself.

This may or may not be the actual conclusion, as there are still twenty minutes left in class, and you never know when inspiration or incident will strike. 

So inspiration has struck! When I started this blog it was meant to (and still does) serve as mostly a personal diary and an outlet for the exorcism of boredom. With this in mind and a generally pessimism about the potential readability of that which would prove to be sensational, I decided to title each post with clean contemporary simplicity. I figured that the contrast between a stark sterile title and the eccentricities of my personality would be a nice touch. I still think it is, but I worry that as this blog grows it's harder to navigate. Who can be bothered to remember exactly what I wrote on March 3rd? Now, I know that some exceptional readers have committed my posts to memory, but not everyone can be so wonderful, and I am sympathetic to the busy schedule of the average reader. In light of these concerns, I would like Your opinions on how I should best move forward... 

here are your options

1. Change nothing, It's perfect
2. Change the titles! Make them fun recognizable and exciting
3. Keep the titles as they are I enjoy the simplicity. But add labels to each post so that content is organized, categorized, and navigable
4. Change the titles AND add labels! Add some more all around flavor!

Please tell me how to move forward!  Isn't it exciting how interactive blogging can be? Now get to it! 

April 14th

WTF?

Hot Dayum! Shabuya! I have a shit TON to cover today and lord knows if I have the time to do it!

The Schedule for this post is as follows. (hopefully If I run out of time I can come back and finish)

  1. Contemporary Issues

2. Extravaganza Eleganza

3. Long Term Concerns and Family Planning

4. Anything else that tickles my fancy and all that stuff I forgot I wanted to say earlier

Let me Anthropologize in advance for my organizational skillz 

Don't you love that word? I just came up with it, and it's so appropriate for this blog. Picture this: 

BLOGTHROPOLOGY the blog that doesn't anthropologize.

I guess it kind of comes off as if it means anthropologize as in utilize anthropological methods, but the double meaning is kind of cute. That is because not only am I shameless, but I don't utilize anthropological methods because I write this blog instead of doing that. Basically, I'm too much.

Ok, so without further ado...

Contemporary Issues

I have to take a Japanese test in less than 2 hours that I was supposed to have taken on Thursday and am yet to study for. Yeah I deserve every ounce of panic I am experiencing. Basically after class I need to scurry to my room, cram as much nihongo (Japanese) into my mind as is humanly possible and get on with my life. 

and now that moment you've all been waiting for, 

Extravaganza Eleganza

Last Saturday, Medea made her grand debut. Clad in a green sequined 

gown with a V-neck to end all V-necks and a plume of tulle that puts 

Vera Wang to shame, I took the stage.Hairless, gorgeous, glistening. 

Now I have not a single negative thing to say about the contestants 

themselves as anyone who can step out of the house with lipstick on 

their lips and heels on their feet is My hero! (if you don't get the 

reference, get out of town!) But seriously, from the retro inspired,to the 

comedic, to the fabulous, everyone was fantastic and it made for a 

wildly entertaining night. That Said, I should have won that shit! I 

rocked it out! I was fucking FIERCE! I entered shrouded in a 

shimmering blue cloak to the moody, ominous, sultry sounds of the 300 

soundtrack. When this exploded into an arabic inspired romp through 

Agrabah I lost the shroud and whipped across the stage drawing 

everyone into my fabulosity. Of course, as I spun and twirled and 

shimmied and gave the sickest face you've ever seen, I lost my wig, but it 

was hot because I look fierce with or without hair. Of course, the judges 

didn't think so. Now, this is where the bitching begins. Medea OWNED 

She ruled the stage and captured hearts. How she could receive a 5 for a 

simple slip of the wig is ludicrous, and honestly, whoever handed out 

that pitiful misrepresentation of a mark should be repulsed by their 

mistake. If Even the Great Rupaul can handle some rippling of the 

illusion that bitch should be able to as well! Can I get an Amen?!  

Furthermore, my talent was otherworldly, over the top, and beyond 

conception. I was THE queen of your universe. Who else could take 

opera, to popera, to impromptu and entirely improvised free styling? 

I don't think everyone realized that I made up the rap bits off of the top 

of my head. Free styling's how I do! I'm a creature of spontenaity. I do 

need to give credit where credit is due though, and praise Lili Cooper to 

high heaven for getting the 5th element reference! Bitch knew her shit! 

Let's start from the very beginning. In order to become as smooth and delicate as the woman that Medea is as quickly and effortlessly as possible, I decided to go for a full body nair job. Yup! I'm a genius. The result of this brilliance was we, naked, covered in acidic foam singing to myself in that fun nook between the showers for ten full minutes. I used an entire bottle of sensitive formula and a full bottle of regular formula in order to cover my body from face to feet. All was well, except my nipples kind of tingled which I just chalked up to them being extra special, extra sensitive parts of the body that despite their special status did not make them exempt from the great follicle holocaust of 2009. Now, the nair made a significant noticeable difference, but it wasn't perfect, so I aggressively ran a razor or three across my entire body in order to finish the job. Feeling, sexy sleek, and smooth, I didn't know that this was only the beginning of a horrible ordeal. I furthered my bodily treatments me bedecking myself in large shiny jewels that ran up my chest and fanned out like a necklace fit only for, you guessed it, a queen. This would have been a flawless execution had the jewels been designed for bodily adhesion, but It's me we're talking about, so I just stuck them on with crazy glue. What? You've never done that?. Did I mention I put a jewel on each of my nipples for a finishing touch? No? Well I did. Now, just 3 days later I am living the consequences. Small stubbly seedlings are sprouting on my chest, stomach, legs, and of course those ever present, ever sensitive nipples. I am so fucking itchy and irritated I don't know what to do with myself. Clothes constantly chafe, but nudity isn't an option, and it doesn't really feel any better. I also discovered that I had cut myself in about 800 or so places across the soft folds of my body. Now, all of this was expected to a degree, but the icing on the shaven cake is the scabs on my nipples. Oh yeah baby! I do it EVERYTHING big, there are no small successes and certainly no small failures in this guys life. cut, scabby, stubbly, and crusted over with glue, I am working on regaining my old body, the picture of masculinity and brawn. 

- Oops I am sooo busted!!! I just decided to have an enthusiastic reaction in class and then Martha wanted me to contribute some actually knowledge and I had nothing!! that was... uncomfortable at best. UGH!! I'm normally fantastic at recovering from being caught not paying attention, but I guess I can't always be perfect. As the blog says, I'm an average above average person, not an above average above average person. - 

I am feeling so guilty now and need to imagine a way to impress M-kap and prove that I read especially because I am in the process of arguing for the integrity of my most recent essay. uh-oh 

Today, we're talking about bodies, business, and beverage hahaha alliteration! too much!

Ok, In light of recent embarassment, I'm going to cut this short, and try to pay a bit of attention. More to come soon, I hope. Maybe it's time to permanently move my blogging time out of class time, but what will happen to the charm and character? This is a conundrum, I am at a crossroads, but as they say, This to shall pass. 

Ahh Safari just quit! and I thought I lost this post, but luckily it saved as a draft! Today sucks!

April 9th

We're fucking cute, aren't we?

Hey! Let's begin. 

Today is the day after passover, and I am feeling well rested, and perfectly satiated. I think this lends a lethargic quality to my writing. I'm just so sleepy and content and can feel my ideas melting into a viscous goo before I have the opportunity to express them. 

Dinner last night was delicious. I mean, you can't beat the Deec, but it came pretty darn close. Everything was home cooked simple and you could just taste the nutrients. Do you know what I'm talking about? You know when you're hungry, but need more than to just fill your stomach and you just want to be able to taste the healthfulness of your food. Well I find this phenomenon to be most realized in foods like brussels sprouts where you can feel the leaves dust over your tongue and can taste the garden and feel good and pure despite the industrialization of American agriculture. I really like brussels sprouts. 

Oh, so this is funny. Throughout the Passover Seder, four cups of wine are drunk at appropriate intervals during the ceremony. Passover wine is called Manishevitz and it is sweet, bordering on syrupy and is pleasant as a once-a-year sort of thing. Well, as the night progressed I noticed that my wine had been liberally sloshed about my place setting. It was on the table cloth, on my shirt, and on my plate. It was such a mess, and it was kind of embarrassing that my place setting was more disheveled than the four year old's who was sitting across from me. After the first spill I was startled at my clumsiness, and really couldn't understand how it had happened. It was something of a phantom accident. I tried to cover it up relatively discreetly especially considering that my aunt is a neat freak and wouldn't be thrilled about my lack of coordination. As the splattering continued, I became worried about my level of intoxication. How drunk could I be after 3 glasses of wine?! I'm pretty proud of my relatively high tolerance and was yet again embarrassed that I was unable to hold my liquor in from of a table full of mostly strangers. I really looked a right mess and was kind of panicking. Myself and my surroundings were saturated in the sticky sweet fruit of the vine. By the time the 4th glass came around I could almost feel the wine oozing out of the sides of my glass before I was able to make yet another failed attempt at drinking. On second thought, I actually could feel the wine oozing, no wait! Leaking! from my glass. Yup, My wine glass had a perpetually dripping, sloshing, gushing, leak that was responsible for all of my personal internal trauma. FML. Now one of my favorite sweaters is stained, but oh well, it was all in the spirit of Pesach. 

I'm not happy with this post. I'm too relaxed and nearly agitated enough to make it work as I usually do. Stay tuned for tuesday ,also come to the drag show on Saturday. 

One final note, Today's post is brought to you by Molly Shoemaker. This divine angel of salvation maintained the consistency of my blogging by allowing me to use her Power chord in order to save my dying computer. If you see molly around be sure to thank her for allowing your greatest source of pleasure to continue to exist. So, don't let her heroic deed be in vain by neglecting to comment. Ok?

April 7th

Ok, Onward ho!  

Moving on,

This was a good weekend that had the usual potential to be a great weekend. Coming off of a fulfilling Thursday, I was hopeful that this past weekend would be one of my  best yet. In some respects it was, but the mediocre nature of Saturday kept it from reaching true ascension. Friday, however, deserves special mention. You know that perfect level of intoxication? Where edges are blurred, and faces are softened, and conversation flows more smoothly than the crystal palace you chugged just minutes earlier. Well I was there. Friday is a decadent blur. I remember being on the 5th floor of main pretty sharply, but everything goes so wonderfully fuzzy as I made my way to the TH's. It was an E block party, I tend to like those parties, so I was pumped from the get go. It didn't hurt that I was a star flip-cup player, and that I was surrounded by friends and casual acquaintances. highlights of the night include smoking a shit ton of cigarettes, hanging on a friend's ex-boyfriend's neck and talking about god knows what, dominating at pong, vomiting in the sink, and waking up the next morning not entirely sure how I made it fully clothed and uninjured back to my bed. 

After the gentle reprieve of the weekend, I was thrust back into the mix of class, homework, and, you guessed it, procrastination. I actually just paused my typing to both pretend to pay attention to class, and to contemplate my procrastinatory plans for the week.

Speaking of things planned this week, first and foremost in my mind is the Drag Show!!! Now, I will definitely have a post with all the extravagant detail next Tuesday, but for now I'm keeping Mum so as not to ruin the impact of drag-excellence. Without giving anything away, I am hugely excited and spent 3 hours, and $200 shopping for all the accouterments, sparkle, and pizazz of a female impersonator. I then spent another few hours assembling, crafting, and honing my inner RuPaul. In the process of preparation I attempted to dye my wig red with some viscous ass red dye from Hot Topic. It looked like congealed menstrual blood. Which was awesome, considering Menstrual blood is one of my favorite things in the world. Again, 100% serious. The dyeing process inevitably resulted in some staining, and that is where this story, well it's really more of a rant, really begins. 

So, I step out of the elevator, fresh from victory at trivia night, and to my surprise and dismay I am instantly accosted by unfittingly disturbed reactions to the mild pink stains coating the basin of the middle sink in our bathroom. Some of my hall mates were truly horrified that the porcelain surface of a sink which they Never make actual physical contact with had changed color. One particular individual was riding so high on her horse that I was truly concerned about what could happen to her if she were to fall. A cold greeting followed by a reminder that I really should clean up my mess was all I needed to be thoroughly repulsed and adequately angered. My main beef comes from the innocuous nature of the problem. Nothing about the stain would affect the quality of life of any individual who came across it. Furthermore, the initially rich magenta, in the course of a few hours, had faded to a dusty rose, and would clearly dissipate due to natural wear and tear. The silliness of people truly astounds me. I find it Anthropologically interesting that in our culture, people are so eager to find something to be upset about. ( I guess I could include myself in this assessment, as I love to find things to be upset about so that I can write about them in my blog) I find nothing more repulsive than someone trying to take the moral high ground over an issue entirely unrelated to morality. ugh. This episode concluded with the sinks being pristine and white by the time I woke up this morning thanks to our wonderful and adequately appreciated maintenance staff. Yet another real world example of how being a pushy nosey self important bitch who can't mind their own business is useless and trite. 

Anna just drew this sick ass doodle of an eyes with dolphins circling the pupil. You should totally check it out! Bitch is sick at art!

Ack! I' out of time! See y'all on Thursday

April 2nd

Where to begin? 

Oh! This is exciting! Project Runway is back!!! although it will be airing on Lifetime, I'm still uber excited. I love that show. I love the blend of characters and talent blah blah well I love it for the same reasons that everyone else loves it. It's successful for a reason and I'm thrilled that it's coming back! 

The Reality Scene will be further bolstered by Bravo's retaliatory Project runway rip off design show. I think it's called Fashion Show or something like that. It will star Isaac Mizrahi and Kelly Rowland as Cohosts. They're definitely not Hiedi and Tim but It'll probably be fun. Although there is an unsettling element about Project Runway not airing on Bravo, I am yet to be disappointed by Bravo's reality programming and withhold judgment until further notice. 

Yesterday was a nice day. I had a nice dinner out and April merriment was in the air. 

Recently I've been craving a consuming and magical experience. Preferably I'll be whisked away by a mysterious cloaked figure and drawn into an epic age old struggle in which I am the key to victory over the darkness as told by an ancient and unquestioned prophecy. But a super cool video game would probably cut it. I think I'm an escapist. I love plunging headlong into a game, or story, or fantasy and would prefer to drown in it before facing a less than magical reality. Luckily I am a renowned sorcerer and have no problem introducing magic into my daily life. For instance I can think of a song and It will be played on my shuffle, or I can predict who's calling when my phone rings. These, of course, take little magical exertion and as much as I would like to share some of my greater feats of spellwork, such secrets are not fit for the internet as a rival wizard could easily use that information against me. 

I want to write a fantasy book. Book writing seems so daunting though. I can't imagine filling hundreds of pages with original thoughts that form a cohesive and enthralling narrative. Eh. I just stopped feeling like writing a book. Maybe later. Or over summer. Or never. 

Last night, I spent a good amount of time on makemebabies.com and I had some satisfying and some horrifying results. Mostly, the children I would have with Carrie would be sunken-eyed sewer mutants with bad teeth at best. It's really that bad.  Check out the little fucker...

YIKES!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH neuter me NOW!

Speaking of Horror, that's the topic in Philosophy this week. I am such hot shit in that class. I'm mostly the best at Philosophizing, and Jennifer Church reminds me of my Mima. Talk about a brilliant woman though, she's really a fantastic teacher and constantly challenges and seems to have every philosophical viewpoint in her arsenal. I mean, I'm sure the responses of Vassar students don't have too much variability throughout the years, but still. The bitch is quick and her class has made me seriously consider a philosophy major. 

Alot of the heart and soul of this blog lies in the pictures. I mean what good is an impeccably written, overwhelmingly humorous, and infinitely interesting blog without our goofy faces peering at you from behind your screen. We do it for you. Anyway, I had to cautiously shuffle the computer between us, Anna had to scoot into a position of visibility and we had to hold the pose while we waited for photobooth to snap our picture. Of course I continued to make guilty eye contact with MK and she, with a knowing look, continued her lesson. Maybe she lets us get away with such shenanigans because Anna and I own the shit out of this class! Seriously you can't complain when we rock midterms and bust out essays with the skill and grace of trained ballerinas. Anyway, the picture this week probably portrays the constraints of our situation as it is dynamic but in a subdued way  if you know what I mean. 

Antarctica is a 5th world continent. Deal with it. I'm out.

P.S. leave me some sugar.