April 14th

WTF?

Hot Dayum! Shabuya! I have a shit TON to cover today and lord knows if I have the time to do it!

The Schedule for this post is as follows. (hopefully If I run out of time I can come back and finish)

  1. Contemporary Issues

2. Extravaganza Eleganza

3. Long Term Concerns and Family Planning

4. Anything else that tickles my fancy and all that stuff I forgot I wanted to say earlier

Let me Anthropologize in advance for my organizational skillz 

Don't you love that word? I just came up with it, and it's so appropriate for this blog. Picture this: 

BLOGTHROPOLOGY the blog that doesn't anthropologize.

I guess it kind of comes off as if it means anthropologize as in utilize anthropological methods, but the double meaning is kind of cute. That is because not only am I shameless, but I don't utilize anthropological methods because I write this blog instead of doing that. Basically, I'm too much.

Ok, so without further ado...

Contemporary Issues

I have to take a Japanese test in less than 2 hours that I was supposed to have taken on Thursday and am yet to study for. Yeah I deserve every ounce of panic I am experiencing. Basically after class I need to scurry to my room, cram as much nihongo (Japanese) into my mind as is humanly possible and get on with my life. 

and now that moment you've all been waiting for, 

Extravaganza Eleganza

Last Saturday, Medea made her grand debut. Clad in a green sequined 

gown with a V-neck to end all V-necks and a plume of tulle that puts 

Vera Wang to shame, I took the stage.Hairless, gorgeous, glistening. 

Now I have not a single negative thing to say about the contestants 

themselves as anyone who can step out of the house with lipstick on 

their lips and heels on their feet is My hero! (if you don't get the 

reference, get out of town!) But seriously, from the retro inspired,to the 

comedic, to the fabulous, everyone was fantastic and it made for a 

wildly entertaining night. That Said, I should have won that shit! I 

rocked it out! I was fucking FIERCE! I entered shrouded in a 

shimmering blue cloak to the moody, ominous, sultry sounds of the 300 

soundtrack. When this exploded into an arabic inspired romp through 

Agrabah I lost the shroud and whipped across the stage drawing 

everyone into my fabulosity. Of course, as I spun and twirled and 

shimmied and gave the sickest face you've ever seen, I lost my wig, but it 

was hot because I look fierce with or without hair. Of course, the judges 

didn't think so. Now, this is where the bitching begins. Medea OWNED 

She ruled the stage and captured hearts. How she could receive a 5 for a 

simple slip of the wig is ludicrous, and honestly, whoever handed out 

that pitiful misrepresentation of a mark should be repulsed by their 

mistake. If Even the Great Rupaul can handle some rippling of the 

illusion that bitch should be able to as well! Can I get an Amen?!  

Furthermore, my talent was otherworldly, over the top, and beyond 

conception. I was THE queen of your universe. Who else could take 

opera, to popera, to impromptu and entirely improvised free styling? 

I don't think everyone realized that I made up the rap bits off of the top 

of my head. Free styling's how I do! I'm a creature of spontenaity. I do 

need to give credit where credit is due though, and praise Lili Cooper to 

high heaven for getting the 5th element reference! Bitch knew her shit! 

Let's start from the very beginning. In order to become as smooth and delicate as the woman that Medea is as quickly and effortlessly as possible, I decided to go for a full body nair job. Yup! I'm a genius. The result of this brilliance was we, naked, covered in acidic foam singing to myself in that fun nook between the showers for ten full minutes. I used an entire bottle of sensitive formula and a full bottle of regular formula in order to cover my body from face to feet. All was well, except my nipples kind of tingled which I just chalked up to them being extra special, extra sensitive parts of the body that despite their special status did not make them exempt from the great follicle holocaust of 2009. Now, the nair made a significant noticeable difference, but it wasn't perfect, so I aggressively ran a razor or three across my entire body in order to finish the job. Feeling, sexy sleek, and smooth, I didn't know that this was only the beginning of a horrible ordeal. I furthered my bodily treatments me bedecking myself in large shiny jewels that ran up my chest and fanned out like a necklace fit only for, you guessed it, a queen. This would have been a flawless execution had the jewels been designed for bodily adhesion, but It's me we're talking about, so I just stuck them on with crazy glue. What? You've never done that?. Did I mention I put a jewel on each of my nipples for a finishing touch? No? Well I did. Now, just 3 days later I am living the consequences. Small stubbly seedlings are sprouting on my chest, stomach, legs, and of course those ever present, ever sensitive nipples. I am so fucking itchy and irritated I don't know what to do with myself. Clothes constantly chafe, but nudity isn't an option, and it doesn't really feel any better. I also discovered that I had cut myself in about 800 or so places across the soft folds of my body. Now, all of this was expected to a degree, but the icing on the shaven cake is the scabs on my nipples. Oh yeah baby! I do it EVERYTHING big, there are no small successes and certainly no small failures in this guys life. cut, scabby, stubbly, and crusted over with glue, I am working on regaining my old body, the picture of masculinity and brawn. 

- Oops I am sooo busted!!! I just decided to have an enthusiastic reaction in class and then Martha wanted me to contribute some actually knowledge and I had nothing!! that was... uncomfortable at best. UGH!! I'm normally fantastic at recovering from being caught not paying attention, but I guess I can't always be perfect. As the blog says, I'm an average above average person, not an above average above average person. - 

I am feeling so guilty now and need to imagine a way to impress M-kap and prove that I read especially because I am in the process of arguing for the integrity of my most recent essay. uh-oh 

Today, we're talking about bodies, business, and beverage hahaha alliteration! too much!

Ok, In light of recent embarassment, I'm going to cut this short, and try to pay a bit of attention. More to come soon, I hope. Maybe it's time to permanently move my blogging time out of class time, but what will happen to the charm and character? This is a conundrum, I am at a crossroads, but as they say, This to shall pass. 

Ahh Safari just quit! and I thought I lost this post, but luckily it saved as a draft! Today sucks!